bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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