i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
