Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
