you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
