quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
