there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
