What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
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Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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