You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
