I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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