dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
