Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Shame is for Republicans.
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