Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
