Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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