I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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