Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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