You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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