Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
