Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Did I show you my penis last night?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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