Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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