is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
