we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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