I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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