too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
