U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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