I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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