She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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