I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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