Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
