Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
