i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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