Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
