it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
