i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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