Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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