I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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