Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
