so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
