I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
