Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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