so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
