This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
