The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
