Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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