Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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