I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
