it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
