can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
