Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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