So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
