our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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