Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
