woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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