yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
