Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
