I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
