I wannas sexs uuuuu
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
