Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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