I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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