"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize