Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
