Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
